Destined to Fail
by Hamstercheese7
Summary: Sakazuki reflects on the past after his fight on Punk Hazard with Kuzan.


**One-Shot: Destined to Fail**

* * *

Their house was silent. Well, it was Sakazuki's now, but he supposed it always had been more of his anyways. It had always been quiet, but this silence grated on his nerves.

Sakazuki sat in the doorway that led to the garden. It was a warm evening, approaching fall, the sky turning a violent purple. The air was sweet with the smell of decaying leaves. The only sound but the slight breeze that seemed to echo. He was sore, his skin still tight with new scar tissue.

In his hand was a slip of paper. So light of a thing for the weight it carried. This one slip of paper was the nail in the coffin, as if his own hands hadn't been enough.

He stared out at the garden without really seeing it. Here, in the privacy of his silent home, he could second guess himself away from prying eyes.

Where had they gone wrong?

They were always destined to fail weren't they? He should have known that from the start.

* * *

It began like all bad things, with a meeting.

Sengoku had called an all hands meeting to deal with the Gold Lion Pirates and the Roger Pirates. He was the first to arrive. Always the diligent soldier, Sakazuki had sat quietly as the other Vice Admirals trickled in, not bothering to make small talk. He had expected the meeting to start once Garp walked through the door and sat right next to Sengoku, chomping away on something or another, but it hadn't. Minutes passed. Sakazuki could feel his irritation rising. He wasn't here to make small talk with the others, he was here for his fucking orders so he could go out and deal with whatever fucking asshole pirates he came across.

Then the door opened, and a tall, lanky man with a goddamn sleeping mask on his head had the fucking gall to walk in and yawn, before taking the open seat next to Sakasuki.

"Oh good, you're finally here Kuzan," Sengoku called out. "Sorry, I fell asleep," the idiot said. Garp laughed. The meeting finally started. Halfway through it, Kuzan shifted and leaned against Sakazuki's chair, putting his long legs up and APPARENTLY falling asleep. Sakazuki wasn't sure if he'd ever encountered a Marine he disliked more.

* * *

The first time they worked together, it was going after the Terra Cotta Pirates, a 15 ship strong fleet whose Captain had decided to carve out a chunk of territory in the Grand Line. Sakazuki had arrived on scene first, engaging the pirates, focusing on sinking their ships into the depths. He'd sunk three before Kuzan arrived. Kuzan, while lazy to a fault, took his job of protecting civilians seriously and worked hard to scatter the rest of the fleet with ice barriers, making it easy for Sakazuki to set them alight with his magma fists.

Everything would have been fine, except Kuzan got in his face about going overkill on the pirates. "We're supposed to capture as many as possible and take them to Impel Down, we don't have to annihilate them," he'd grumbled, having the audacity to land next to him on HIS ship.

"The survivors can go to Impel Down, the rest made their fucking choices," he'd snarled as he launched a barrage of magma at the last ship, the crackling and snapping of the wood drowning out the screaming and pleading from the pirates trapped within. He wouldn't risk his men's lives in close combat when he could solve the problem from where he stood on the prow.

He should have known then that they were destined for destruction.

* * *

After that, it was constant fights, their opposite personalities as plain as the eye could see. Kuzan was laidback, something Sakazuki couldn't be even if he wanted. Sakazuki was a perfectionist, Kuzan seemed to delight in chaos. Sakazuki gained respect by being ruthless, Kuzan by being kind.

They argued over battle strategies, over philosophy, over even stupid things like food, but the curly haired bastard never backed down. The only person who stood up to him was Kuzan. And despite the increasing and ever escalating tension between them, he began to develop a grudging respect for the fucking idiot over his willingness to fight him tooth and nail.

And he noticed that he was the only person Kuzan seemed to let under his skin.

* * *

The first time they fought was on a training field at Headquarters in the middle of the day. He didn't remember what they had been fighting about, but he remembered throwing the first punch, a little shocked himself that he'd let it get that far, but even more shocked when Kuzan proceeded to tackle him to the ground.

It quickly turned into a full blown brawl, neither of them willing to concede, and ended with him pinning Kuzan to the ground, a hand around his neck, squeezing. Kuzan's long fingers gripped his jaw, cold beginning to seep into his skin. They'd stared at each other, pupils blown wide, a drop of blood from Sakazuki's split lip dripping onto Kuzan's face, mere inches away.

A horrible look of realization dawning on the younger man's face, he slowly recalled his ice, leaving just his warm hand gripping Sakazuki's chin. A look of sadness and regret filled Kuzan's deep dark eyes as he stopped struggling against his grip, and Sakazuki had never hated anything, anyone, more in his life.

The next thing he knew, he was being yanked off Kuzan by Borsalino, the normally unflappable man looking furious, but he could feel Kuzan's sad gaze on his back for hours after.

* * *

Sakazuki was not a gentle man. He never pretended to be. His blood ran hot, but his heart indifferent. He had little sympathy for those who made the wrong choices. But that didn't mean he didn't feel. Anger, rage, hatred, were all emotions that he projected quite often, but it was the quieter ones that hardly anyone even knew he had that he felt the most intensely.

The day he got a letter informing him that his mother had passed had left him sitting in the locker rooms at Marine Headquarters feeling more lost than he ever had. It was late afternoon, but the locker room was empty and quiet. Until Kuzan came in. It was the first time they'd been around each other since their brawl, their superiors keeping them apart.

But Sakazuki had barely noticed him. His mother was gone. Maybe it was his lack of reaction that made Kuzan sit down next to him. Maybe it was because he thought Kuzan hated him and would therefore not look at him with pity or sympathy, and instead with cold indifference that made him whisper "My mother is dead."

He was not prepared for the gentle way Kuzan touched his jaw, not so different from the end of their brawl, not prepared for the soft press of slightly chapped lips against his.

Not prepared for the sudden onslaught of emotion that swamped him as he shoved Kuzan down against the bench, desperate to feel anything but the pain in his chest. He wasn't gentle, his lips harsh and bruising. But Kuzan, like everything else with him, pushed back, his hips arching, long legs pulling him closer, leaving kisses just as hard, just as bruising. Desperation drove him to undo Kuzan's pants, to free his cock and wrap his hand around it, the sounds Kuzan made against his neck driving him higher. But it was Kuzan who shoved him back before sinking to his knees to wrap hot lips around his cock.

It wasn't long before he came, the adrenaline rush and oxytocin crashing through his system made him yank Kuzan's lips to his, finishing the other off with a few harsh pumps of his fist.

A few minutes later, he was a sobbing incoherent mess, his face buried in the crook of the shorter man's shoulder. Kuzan said nothing and just held him tightly.

* * *

Nothing changed between the two of them, except that Sakazuki found himself showing up at Kuzan's quarters in the middle of the night. Found himself waking up at dawn wrapped in the other man's long limbs. Hating Kuzan's laziness a little less, cracking small smiles at Kuzan's bland comments. Found himself being a little kinder, and putting down soldiers who muttered about Kuzan's eccentricities.

Kuzan in turn began doing his paperwork on time, punishing soldiers who slacked off, and took an interest in the quieter things, the calmer things. They spent a lot of time in the garden outside Sakazuki's apartment.

* * *

A few months before the World Government declared Roger the King of the Pirates, Kuzan and Sakazuki had found themselves engaged in a fierce battle in the West Blue against the Beast Pirates.

Sakazuki was in a head-to-head battle with a man who possessed the dangerous ability to control the nervous systems of anyone he touched. As Sakazuki twisted on the ground in agony, his nerves on fire, Kuzan had come out of nowhere and slammed his ice saber into the chest of his opponent. But not before the bastard returned the blow, stabbing Kuzan through the stomach, his haki infused blade sliding all the way through.

Something gave way in Sakazuki's chest. Looking back on it now, he only saw flashes. Felt his throat go hoarse as he screamed for a medic. Felt the emptiness and hot anguish burn in his chest as he sat helpless in the hall of the medic bay. Sitting by Kuzan's bedside, his skin so ashen against the stark white of the sheets.

When Kuzan awoke, Sakazuki had been in a stupor, awake for more hours than he cared to count. Kuzan had turned his dark eyes on slowly to him, and Sakazuki had asked him why. "Arara...you don't know?" he'd breathed. The world passed by them slowly, the only sound the beeping of machines, the rhythm of Kuzan's heart in electrical pulses.

And Sakazuki left.

When Kuzan returned to Headquarters weeks later, Sakazuki was waiting inside his apartment, leaning against his kitchen counter. It was late, and Kuzan said nothing as he set down his bag, smiling softly as Sakazuki followed him into his bedroom. He didn't need to say anything as Sakazuki pushed him into the mattress. He knew.

That was the first time they made love, and for a while, things were good. He should have known they wouldn't last.

* * *

The week Roger died was probably the beginning of the end. With that motherfucker's death, he launched a new era of piracy across the world, leaving it more unstable than it had ever been in recent memory.

Pirates of all kinds took to the seas, violence escalated around the globe, across every sea. And Sakazuki was never more afraid. As the seas got murkier, it became harder to tell who was on which side, the promise of greed and the great mystery Roger left behind making everyone and everything crazy. So Sakazuki did the only thing he knew how, which was to buckle down on his beliefs. He believed strongly in good vs. evil, that there was a clear cut line in-between the two, and that the greater good was to be protected at nearly any cost.

Kuzan didn't feel the same way, and as Sakazuki pulled in one direction, Kuzan pulled in the other.

* * *

Then came Ohara, the first blow. He could see that now.

When they returned to Navy Headquarters, Kuzan had refused to look at him. And Sakazuki couldn't explain that all he could picture while dealing with the enemy was Kuzan getting stabbed over and over again.

After a time, things settled on the seas, the World Government getting a handle on things through any means necessary. Sakazuki was promoted to Admiral. Kuzan shortly after him. But the gap was widening. The differences between them becoming unworkable once more.

* * *

Sakazuki bought a house on the outskirts of Headquarters. It encircled a garden and was larger than he needed. He gave Kuzan a key, and they lasted a little longer.

* * *

But time breaks down all things and Ennies Lobby and Nico Robin was the crack that broke him. How could Kuzan let her go? She could bring about the end of the world! Didn't he understand that?! He'd gone too far this time, his softness was going to ruin them all! But he never got the chance to confront him before the Paramount War.

When everything fell apart.

Where Sakazuki saw the chance to finally rid the world of dangerous men, and felt no regrets taking down Roger's spawn, Kuzan seemed to feel almost regretful over it, like the Navy had made a mistake. They'd argued so fiercely in the aftermath that it had almost come to blows, but this time it was him who looked at Kuzan with sadness and regret.

And the hate returned.

* * *

When the Five Elders left it up to them to determine who was to be Fleet Admiral, it was too soon after their fight. And Sakazuki would not back down this time. The fate of the world was at stake, and the Navy couldn't afford to be weak, not now.

So they'd fought, and Sakazuki gave everything he had. He didn't pull back. He never let up. Not when his magma burned horrific scars across Kuzan's skin, not when he burned through flesh and blood. As long as Kuzan kept getting up, he wouldn't stop. Because he had to be strong, now more than ever.

* * *

The wind whispered over his skin, the scar tissue on his face twinging from the sudden temperature change. The sky had long turned dark, and Kuzan's resignation letter sat heavy in his hand.

He had to be strong. As Fleet Admiral, he had to be hard, unforgiving, an unstoppable and unyielding force.

Sakazuki swallowed, the silence pushing in on him. He crushed the letter in his hand, reaching for the anger, but it wasn't there, just emptiness, like this goddamn building.

And he wept.

* * *

**Notes:**

I couldn't get this out of my head, and now I'm sad. I love both of these characters so much. Any feedback would be appreciated, I've never written anything from Sakazuki's perspective before. This is also crossposted to AO3.

Thanks for reading! You can also find me on twitter at buggyisbest


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